Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Walk The Moon Stalks The Poon

It's appropriate to begin this new blog by briefly mentioning Aristotle's The Poetics. This 2,300 year-old piece pulverizes so much of the silliness upon which popular, hipster, and wannabe hipster culture rests soundly every night, with its central argument being that people take immense pleasure in simply recognizing things.

There is absolutely nothing new about new Cincinnati band Walk The Moon, meaning there's plenty to recognize. Undoubtedly, most of their fans are probably also fans of the abominable Girl Talk (instead of recognizing one crappy pop song at a time, with Girl Talk you get to recognize two or three simultaneously), and it certainly appears that most of the band's fans are female. These are the sort of girls who either don't know a real man when they see one, or worse, have sworn off real men. Real men do real stuff like design, build, and ride in rockets (let's hope a misguided granddaughter of Cincinnatian Neil Armstrong doesn't get any stupid ideas for pappy's 81st). They also hoard spare parts, talk back to the police, and most important of all -- live for Rock & Roll.

Just when the world needs rock & roll more than ever, Walk the Moon is skipping around and playing dress-up. These crimes are plain to see in their music video, which has attracted a staggering 190,000 hits since it was posted in November:

But it gets even worse -- an endorsement from Carson Daly sez it all:

And why the hell do they and their fans think they somehow invented Indian war paint? The Rolling Stones (heard of them?) did it 40 years ago:

More 40 year-old rock & roll face paint:

The members of Walk the Moon and their fans, if confronted by Raw Power, would probably start crying. And Iggy Pop got Nico while Walk the Moon is stuck with wannabe hipster chicks.

So in closing, a sober and perhaps sobering message to the band: The internet giveth, and the internet taketh away.

9 comments:

  1. Thank GOD you are blogging again!

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  2. I think you're being a bit of a musical luddite. First, this track is a pretty good pop song. Does it lack the balls of "Raw Power?" Yes. But in the grand scheme of todays indie dance movement it's not that bad. Yes the face paint thing has been done before, but the infusion of glam rock styling is resonating with the younger kids everywhere. We have various EDM (primarily dubstep) shows in Knoxville where kids paint themselves in day-glo every week. Do they look retarded? Yes. But it helps build a sense of community within a scene and it looks like this band is doing a pretty good job of building a fan base.

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  3. So you're saying don't hate the player, hate the game? Okay -- but I'm not sure this band or their fans even know what the game is.

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  4. The Indian war paint scene in that video makes me think of the former Grammer's crowd. It seems like with many hipsters, it is these types of over the moon party atmospheres that they so strongly desire. When in reality these types of things never really happen under any sort of normal circumstances. I am assuming this is why these lot of people either end up irritating everyone else surrounding them, and/or are using drugs to allow themselves to open up in such a way to engage in such ludacris activities.

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  5. Well if you party often and party hard, real spontaneous stuff does happen on occasion. If you plan for it it won't happen, so when it does happen you need to recognize it and savor it, because my own thought is that there are really only a few instants when your life is perfect, and having a blast at a party when you're young can definitely be one of those times.

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  6. I'm glad you're blogging again Jake. Problem is, you're so far out of my league intellectually I don't even know if you're being sarcastic or serious in this post. I'm going with seriously sarcastic.

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  7. Hate on Walk The Moon all you want, but this song is undeniable - "Anna Sun" http://www.youtube.com/user/walkthemoonband?feature=watch

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  8. As a Cincy Hipster I never got these guys. Guess I'm just wasent hip enough.

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